Lawyers Try To Void Donovans Contract, SVG We're Begging You To Coach Us

Yesterday sucked. We went from having the most exciting college coach in the country to suddenly having nothing and wondering where the franchise would turn next. Select folks like myself who are Stan Van Gundy supporters were elated at the news that he is most likely the next choice for the Magic, but this didn't really lead anywhere. Why? The Magic are in legal hell right now, trying to void Donovan's contract.

I'm no legal beagle (and by this I mean I AM a dork who likes cliches), but I am quite certain that until Donovan's contract is voided we will be unable to extend a written offer to anyone else to be the head coach. It's gotta be in the fine print somewhere. This means that at best we have a verbal agreement with Stan Van Gundy, which could very well go poof if Sacramento extends him a generous offer. Sacramento is expected to make a decision soon about who they want their next head coach to be and Stan grew up outside of Sacramento, so the clock is ticking. It's all up to the lawyers to get this contract mess sorted out before Stan is off the market and we are left with a pile of poop in our hands ('pile of poop' was the college frat name of PJ Carlesimo).

If someone were filming this, every break in the action would be presented with a beeping clock with the time displayed, like on '24'.

The other half of the 'fun' is that at the end of the day we still have to convince Stan to take the Magic's head coaching position. We've gone from him being an also-ran to him laughing all the way to the bank and in the driver's seat.

On one hand in the wake of the Donovan signing, Stan will likely be making much more money than he originally planned and he has also suddenly become the coach everyone wants in Orlando. He will be close to his family, be in the same city as his mother-in-law (which he says is a good thing), and be able to face off against Pat Riley several times a year in a clash of the titans.

On the other hand, Stan taking the job will have to involve him ignoring the obvious hits to his ego. He will forever be remembered as the second choice of this franchise, and it is fair to say his entire tenure will be one long comparison with how Donovan would have done. He also will almost assuredly be offered less money than Donovan was, which presents a direct display of his worth to the team.

Call me crazy, but if I were him I would definitely, DEFINITELY take this job. The pay raise, the close family, and beating the hell out of Riley's Heat would be a big factor for me. On top of that, if you look at the alternative, Stan has to ask himself these questions:

-Does anyone REALLY want to risk their coaching tenure on the schitzophrenic mind of Ron Artest?

-Do the Maloofs and job security ever even occur in the same sentence?

-While Orlando is a young up and coming franchise with loads of cap room in the east, does the Kings job sound attractive when you realize theirs is a dying team full of big contracts and only one coveted player (Kevin Martin)?

-Does Stan really want to hang out with the people he grew up with when he lived there? If his school chums are anything like some of the people I grew up with, many of them probably have become degenerates.

So the Magic have a job to do in the next few days/hours/minutes. They need to convince Stan Van Gundy that he will most likely rot in Sacramento and Orlando is the best location for him. This shouldn't be too hard because I see Sacramento as a comparitavely boring, underdeveloped land. In my mind people still till the land and worry about Typhoid, Dysentery, and other diseases from Oregon Trail.

Magic management, don't let us down. We all know after his convincing of Billy Donovan that Otis is a smooth criminal when it comes to getting people on the Magic's side, but we also need some brilliant performances from Rich Devos and Bob Vander Weide.

Here is a live feed of Rich and Bob trying to convince Stan to take the job:

Crap. Otis, do your best out there man. We're all counting on you.