instead. Black and Blue's Orlando Magic Blog: Moving Day(s)!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Moving Day(s)!

Yes, your old friend Black and Blue is moving on Monday. I am heading to the Central Park West part of New York City from the Upper East Side of NYC. For those of you readers who have no friggin' clue what the hell I'm talking about because you don't know Manhattan (and for those of you Native Americans who are still smarting over losing the island for a handful of trinkets), Central Park West is retardedly gorgeous and a ruffian like myself really has no business being lucky enough to live there. Me living there is the equivalent of that scene in the Beastie Boys' "Fight for your right to party" video when the snobs are having a nice party and they come in by kicking the door down. -but, you know, with more gold chains.

For you see, if New York were a menu, Central Park West would be the lobster with 14k gold claws. If New York were a high school, CPW would be the cheerleader who every guy wanted to get with and did modeling/amateur porn on the side. If New York were rather insignificant injuries, CPW would be the rotator cuff injury requiring season ending surgery and leaving your team with a huge friggin' hole at the Power Forward position. -you know, figuratively.
Long story short, like Ron Burgandy, I...don't know how to put's kind of a big deal.

In fact, friends and family have been trying to figure out what could be wrong with this new place, it's so nice and is in my price range. Most are betting that it is ghosts, but there is a good chance that it's just in the same building as Stephon Marbury or something (aka fucked).

One thing I promise you readers is that although I am moving to a nice area, I will NOT become a collar-popping asshole. If you have been unlucky, like me (I have been SUPER unlucky going to college in Connecticut) you have come into contact with one of these monstrosities. They look down on poorer people. They dress in pastel colored pink, neon orange, and plaid pants. They most likely drone on about their yacht, and have bizarre parted haircuts. They use "Summer" as a verb (such as "I summer on Nantucket") and have at least one biological relative named Muffy.

Yeah, that won't be me. I will be the guy controlling the collar-popping douchebag population though careful hunting and, if it is profitable enough, taxidermy.

Wow, this was a pretty long entry to essentially say there WON'T be an entry for a little while because my internet won't be shut on in the new place. Anyhoo, as soon as I get internet again this week I wil have much to say about the goings on in the NBA and with the Magic. For now, catch ya later.

1 comment:

DJMASE20 said...

LOL... best blog ever.