instead. Black and Blue's Orlando Magic Blog: R.I.P Eddie Griffin/Oakley Likes The Magic?/Skinner In Consideration

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

R.I.P Eddie Griffin/Oakley Likes The Magic?/Skinner In Consideration

There's been some weird news lately.


It's not every day that you open the paper and read "NBA player killed by freight train", as was the case with Eddie Griffin last night. Sadly, I have to say that amongst all of the NBA players, I envisioned Griffin leading the shortest life after that bizarre 'masturbation in his car' incident that happened last year. A FREIGHT TRAIN though? That is quite a dramatic way to go out. It might simultaneously be the most manly and most pathetic way to die, which is saying something. On the bright side, Eddie Griffin will have the coolest story in heaven of how he died. I envision a lot of conversations going like this:
Angel 1: "I died of bubonic plague"
Angel 2: "That's cool, but not as cool as dying by falling off of a cliff."
Eddie Griffin: "I died by drunkedly driving my car into a moving freight train, in an explosive orgy of fire. They had to use dental records to even know it was me."
(A beat)
Angel 1: "So, uh, who wants to play backgammon?"

The other puzzling news centers around Michael Jordan sidekick and wooden tree lookalike Charles Oakley saying that he wants to play for the Magic. Luckily Otis is saying hell no to this already simply because the combo of Ewing and Oakley on a team would lead to...well...something that Eddie Griffin would watch in his car. Oakley counteracts this criticism by saying his bad boy ways can be used for good, such as adding a mean streak to young Dwight Howard. I'm sure that's what management wants, to make christian poster boy Dwight Howard a bruiser who gets technical fouls and cusses out fans.

That same article had some good things to say though. Namely, that the Magic are attempting to add either Adonal Foyle (which we already knew) or Brian Skinner. This made me happy because Skinner was the one name out there I was shocked to see we hadn't contacted. He is more than capable of putting up good numbers as a backup and probably would be cheap. If we get either guy, I would consider the departure of Darko aptly dealt with.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Unnecessarily unkind. The guy was in too much pain to live. Do you realize how awful that must feel? Isn't compassion a better default position?

Anonymous said...

Yea dude. I love the stuff you right but to bash a guy like that who suffered from alchohalism that ruined his career, and to not even show a hint of compasion that he he drove his car onto train tracks and was burned beyond recognition is just horrible. That joke u made was funny when you said he would have the best story in heaven but i mean the rest was just mocking his death. Really gonna rethink visiting the site from now on.