Otis Smith Confirms Foyle And Gortat Are Signed/Mascots Are Evil

Otis Smith finally dropped the curtain and admitted that the Magic had signed Adonal Foyle. Initially, yesterday all he would say is "We are going in that direction", but today he came out and gave the reasons behind the move:

"I like him because he's a good on-ball defender and he gives us somebody with some girth," Smith said. "We have a lot of tall guys, but no one with any real girth. He's a big defender who can help us."

I am not one to critique the words chosen by others, but there had to be some better way to describe Foyle than by referring repeatedly to his "girth". That's just not right. Even if it wasn't a tongue-in-cheek mention of his private parts, it still would be calling him fat.

On top of this, Otis just has the description all wrong. Looking at Adonal Foyle, we all by now have come to grips with the fact that the best way to describe him is as an Easter Island Head on a basketball player's body. Right is a photo of Adonal Foyle, looking rather stoic after learning the Magic will sign him.

In other news, the team has officially announced that they have signed Marcin Gortat. We already knew this, but the team probably held on to this information until they signed someone else so they could save face with the media thinking Gortat was their answer at backup C. We now can relax and realize Foyle is our primary backup, with Gortat lower on the depth chart.

Speaking of Gortat, I will tell him exactly what I yell at most people on the streets: "BEWARE OF MASCOTS!" After seeing a particularly grizzly wrestling match between the Washington Wizards mascot, Sly the New Jersey Nets Mascot, and former WWE star Mick Foley during a halftime show at Continental Airlines Arena last year (yes, that actually happened), I know that mascots cannot be trusted and probably should be hunted for sport. I'm sure it will come out that Michael Vick had an underground mascot fighting ring, but this at least is justifiable.

Doubt the unspeakable evil that are mascots? Take a look at this video of Marcin Gortat trying to dunk during a halftime show over a pile of mascots and you will see the trouble they can cause!

After watching that clip, you probably thought what I thought: "Wow...we just signed this guy? I hope NOT DOING THAT was a clause in his contract somewhere."

Either way, welcome to the team Adonal and Marcin. Let's hope we can make a few more good moves before the season.