Darth Rosen Sucks\ Why I Love Orlando: Trip Preview Part 2

I'm not going to spend much time on it, because the last thing I want to do is bring publicity to his evil cause, but Darth Rosen is still going to great lengths to stop the Orlando venues from being built...including the new Orlando Magic arena. The latest news is that he is attempting to get several volunteers (or 'Stormtroopers') to knock on people's doors to sign a petition to overturn the stadium vote. He would have about 6 months to collect 31,000 signatures, which is possible especially if some of the signatures aren't verified properly (aka they just toss names down to get the last thousand or so).

This guy is a selfish jackass who just wants more of the city's money to go into his own pocket. If you see one of his Stormtroopers at your door, do one of the following:

1) Shut the door in their face.

2) Smile, invite the person in, pour them some lemonade, ask to see the other signed petitions, and then promptly urinate on the papers.

Of course, do the second step at your own risk. There is a chance you could get urine on your rug, so make sure you weigh the pros and cons of such a move.

With that out of the way, let's look at some things that are far more cheerful:

First of all, the Orlando Magic shop is having a big sale on replica jerseys. Every player, including Rashard Lewis, is only 20 bucks. I am quite happy with my Dwight Howard jersey, but thought it would be good news for you guys out there who have been waiting for a sale to get one. Now is your chance to ditch that homemade one that has the drawn-on number in crayon.

Let's continue part 2 of the Orlando trip preview. It would be impossible to talk about Orlando, in my opinion, without at least spending time talking about my favorite of the theme parks: Epcot. Now I know there are a lot of people that feel the park is outdated and prefer the new feel of MGM or the traditional feel of Magic Kingdom. I am not one of those folks. Another person who shared my preference in regards to which theme park was his favorite? Walt Disney.

Walt Disney's father was a worker on the Chicago World's fair around the turn of the century and took young Walt to see the grounds. The World's fair was composed of several large buildings, each representing a different facet of society (the Agriculture building, the Humanities building, etc) and in the middle of the park was a big lagoon with an island on it. Seeing Epcot is like seeing how a man like Walt Disney would want a park to look like, almost as an homage to his father. Walt wanted to mimic the world's fair by creating a "City of Tomorrow", where all of the newest technologies in the world could be showcased (Innovations, located at the front of the park) as well as many of its natural wonders (i.e. the Living Seas Aquarium, the different countries). When Walt Disney died, everyone knew this project was closest to his heart. At right is a photo of him in front of an early conceptual drawing.

Personally, I love the park because of its diversity. You know at MGM, Universal, and Islands Of Adventure that everything is going to be movie-themed. You know at Magic Kingdom that everything is designed to look like a fairy tale. At Epcot, you have a bizarre mix of seemingly random stuff. It's like someone just said "Let's take all of the cool stuff that wouldn't fit in the other parks and toss it in this one!" You have many countries to walk through, sampling each culture like an appetizer sampler at a bar. You have an Aquarium, Science building, and Technology expo to learn. You have new rides that are there for thrill seekers (Soarin' and the Test Track)...it really has it all. -And for you degenerates out there, yes you CAN drink beer there! The German pavilion has some darn good beer to help you make it through the hot days.

My favorite ride, simply because of tradition, is the Norway ride "The Maelstrom". Anything that combines Vikings, Trolls, and a log flume is a recipe for a good time. Even at a young age, I remember asking my parents "Is Norway REALLY so boring that they have to throw Trolls into the ride to make it interesting?" I was too young to realize the excitement and magic that only windmills and fjords can bring.

If I had to rank the parks in order of preference, they would be as follows:

1) Epcot

2) Universal Islands Of Adventure

3) MGM Studios

4) Universal

5) Magic Kingdom

6) (Insert the rest of the parks here)

965) Disney's Animal Kingdom

Disney's Animal Kingdom just wasn't my cup of tea. Granted, I am spoiled when it comes to zoos and aquariums because I live near the Central Park Zoo and have visted the New Orleans Aquarium (two of the best in the country), but this just isn't worth the price of admission. Commercials will promote the Himilayas ride and the Dinosaur ride, and that is no surprise because those both are really the only notable things worth traveling to the park for. Other than those two things, all you are left with are a gigantic zoo with many animals that look obviously annoyed by the Florida heat.

I am also not very high on the parks I have in the "other parks" section. Sea World, Gator Land, the millions of water parks I consider the "generic theme parks" in that you can see the exact same thing on a smaller scale elsewhere in America. Just my opinion, though, as I know a lot of people love these places.

That's it for now. If you have any comments on your favorite park shoot me an email or leave a comment!