Back and Bloggin'

I have online access again so the blogging will reconvene!

...Well, "online access" meaning that I totally don't have access at all, but opted to hop on to someone else's wireless network for a second. I should wear an eyepatch while I commit this unspeakable work of evil piracy. -Either that or do other pirate things like drink rum until I start to think manatees are hot and imagine them as mermaids. See, it's not all glamour, Pirates of the Carribean fans.

Back to the subject at hand, a decent amount of info came out while I was killing myself with moving boxes.

First of all, as many of you heard Chris Webber's agent expects the Magic to inquire about his client. This sparked the usual internet frenzy of people wondering if Webber would come to the team that originally drafted him and traded his rights for Penny Hardaway. Practically hours after this came out, Webber came out and said the only team he could see himself playing for was the Detroit Pistons. You could hear the sound of Webber's agent smacking his forehead thousands of miles away, as an indication of interest in only one team is a negotiating no-no.

Personally, I would be fine if Webber didn't come to Orlando. He wants a good amount of money and his legs are completely shot. On top of that, he doesn't seem to understand that his best days are behind him and that he doesn't command as much respect or clout as other players. If he wound up on our team, no doubt it would be a great pickup and would help, but it is also equally risky to pick up a player with injury concerns who is cocky (sleeping with Tyra Banks during her heyday will do that to you, so I don't fault him. While this is the case, sleeping with her now would be like doing it with one of the aformentioned manatees).

Let's see what else happened? Hmmm....Ah yes, Adonal Foyle said that he is looking forward to being the dirty player on the team, the "guy in the trenches". He goes on to say he would take on the centers in the league, allowing Howard to abuse power forwards. In the article it says that Stan Van Gundy also is surprised at how good Foyle is offensively.

I never thought I would say this, but Adonal Foyle's inclusion on the Magic is somehow proving to be as important as the Rashard Lewis signing. He was a super valuable safety net when Battie got injured, and sounds really eager to go out and murder some other teams wearing the Magic colors. I also am really encouraged to hear he has a mean streak since I thought last year's Magic (especially Dwight) were so soft out there that at times I thought they were trying to do ballet instead of basketball. FYI: Carlos Arroyo would look awful in a tutu, but surprisingly it would be an improvement for Pat Garrity.

In other news, Stan Van Gundy has come into training camp with the hard-nosed approach that only two people on the team are guarenteed starting spots: Howard and Lewis. Other people like Jameer Nelson and Hedo Turkoglu will have to fight to get into the starting lineup. Since I saw those two as our biggest underperformers last season, I took this news with a smile. You could almost see the situation develop like this:

Stan: Hey, Hedo. Get into the starting lineup in this practice.

Hedo: Oh, I don't know coach. I think that weird phantom sickness of mine is acting up again...cough...cough...I better sit this one out (eats a handful of grapes).

Stan: Fine with me. Don't let the splinters hurt your ass when you're sitting on the bench this season.

Hedo: (Drops grapes) Wait, did I say sickness? I meant to say "Boy, I feel great." Let's play some basketball, heh heh...

It's time to have a good evaluator of talent come in and assess what our team has, and Stan Van Gundy is looking like the right man for the job. Personally, and I know I'm in the minority here, I'd like to see Hedo coming off of the bench, Ariza starting, and JJ Redick spot-starting against players that won't kill him when he is playing defense. Hedo has quite a track record for making it into the starting lineup despite his inconsistency, so we'll see how it shakes out. Stan says that right now Dooling has the advantage at point guard, since he actually speaks to his teammates when playing.

And lastly, Polish tall guy and Across the Universe fan Marcin Gortat admitted that he is a bit overwhelmed in the Magic practices. This is no surprise as playing against Dwight is the equivalent of trying to catch a greased pig (or so the hicks say). More interesting and funny are Gortat's comments on America:

Gortat said he's also had to make a transition culturally. He did find a Polish restaurant near his home, but he's had to get used to "people being so nice to me." "I've had to learn to be more friendly and not so aggressive," he said with a chuckle. "American people are really nice. Everybody says to me, 'Hey, what's up?' And, 'have a nice day.' That doesn't happen much in Poland and you can forget about that happening in Germany.

"Gortat recounted a story of going to a local movie theater recently and being floored by a random act of kindness. When the attendant asked how he was doing, Gortat ranted that he had a lousy day at practice and that he was tired. The attendant offered to super-size his popcorn and soda at medium prices.

My goodness can we PLEASE make this into a movie? The idea of Marcin Gortat clotheslining and headbutting people on the street and then shrugging and saying "Sorry, that's the way we say thank you in Poland" is just too appealing. Toss in a scene where Gortat is sobbing about practice only to have his spirits lifted immeasurably by a super-sized popcorn and you have comedy gold. I say we get Vince Vaughn to shave his head, hop on stilts, and play this role right now!

Glad to have internet back, albeit temporarily. Keep on checkin' in for updates and I'll see you on the flipside.