Hill's Out, But Who's IN?

Brian Hill was dumped by the Orlando Magic on Wednesday, a move that most sports writers predicted and most fans hoped for. While Hill accomplished what he was put there to do, namely getting the team back to the playoffs and remind fans of 'the good old days', the fact remained that many people thought his substitutions made no sense and his offensive game plans were very basic and ineffective. Towards the end of the season, I was quite certain that Brian Hill had resorted to showing the players stuff that he had scrawled on a bar napkin the night before:

With Brian Hill out, the immediate question came from all directions: Who would be the next coach? Unanimously, the fans had picked their favorite...Rick Adelman! The only problem was that the firing of Brian Hill had taken so long that by the time he was given his pink slip, Adelman had already found another team to coach.

Ah well, not a huge loss. There are a lot of other coaches out there and almost all of them are untainted by the WNBA. The team's seemingly top choice, Billy Donovan, said today that he plans to return to the University of Florida, which takes one major name off of the list. Next, the team said that it would want to implement a faster paced offense. -That would make oddsmakers downgrade names of slower tempo coaches like Rick Carlisle, Larry Brown, and Jeff Van Gundy. So who are we left with? Allow me to present to you what I feel are the top two choices:

Marc Iavaroni (Which the Phoenix Suns' recent biography tells is pronounced "I-Va-Ro-Nee") and Stan Van Gundy. Why do I feel these are the top two choices? Because both candidates run the floor, have a defensive mindset, and are good at developing young talent. Those are exactly the criteria that the Magic are trying to meet heading into this coaching decision. Let's break them down some more.

First of all, let's start with the guy who has already come out and said he wants the job: Stan Van Gundy. This guy was the head assistant under Pat Riley, and is best known for being ousted as a coach rather abruptly by the same man when Riley wanted the glory. Despite saying he wanted to spend more time with his family, everyone knew he had been kicked out by a power hungry coach that wanted the credit for developing youngsters such as Dwayne Wade and Udonis Haslem.

I personally loved watching Stan Van Gundy because unlike all of the other polished coaches out there, SVG looked like the type of guy who routinely lounged in his recliner in his undershirt and underwear and fell asleep to Nick at Nite with a half eaten tv dinner on his lap. As if this wasn't enough of a mental image, many have made the obvious comparison between him and Ron Jeremy:

I think Stan, 'stache and all, would be a great choice to help our young players develop and would tailor the offense to its strengths.

On to my next preference, Marc Iavaroni. Marc is an ace at developing young talent and big men, something he did with Cleveland, Miami, and the Suns. If there was anyone available that would be a surefire help to Dwight Howard stepping up his game it would be him. He is a bit more of a question mark than Stan, primarily because he has already been interviewed by the Memphis Grizzlies and could accept a job with them any day now. To SVG's short, stout Mario, Iavaroni is the tall and lanky Luigi. He is 6'8'', balding, and the closest thing I could compare his looks to are a zombie.

There are also some other candidates out there:

Mr. "I don't care what you say, the game hasn't passed me by" Lenny Wilkins,

Mr. "Hairpiece of Hate" Mike Fratello

and of course Mr. "Those red finger marks on my neck are just going away" PJ Carlisimo.

It stands to be an exciting summer, and it's all just begun.